So, though Buffy (which I haven't been able to even try to sum up) taught me the most about fighting demons and Bones has been like a good friend, Glee holds a very different place. I do love the characters on Glee and I love their story lines as well. But mostly, I love the music and the dancing. As these characters that I've fallen in love with step up and perform on the screen, it truly brings me glee. The show isn't named that simply because it's a glee club. It is a show that conveys joy and other emotions through the power of music. I have spent many an hour re-watching scenes of certain songs with a big silly grin on my face or doing my own private dance (and let me say, I am NOT a dancer).
In counseling lately, one thing we've really been concentrating on are the things I can access to soothe myself, to calm my anxiety so that I can get through a challenge or an attack without giving into my compulsion. One of the first ways I identified to do this was through Glee. When I put on the Glee soundtrack and start singing and dancing along, something in me changes. One night I was especially down and in a matter of minutes, I had turned my mood around just by listening to this music, laying on the couch. It's generally more effective if I sing along, but sometimes just listening or even lip-syncing is just as good. When my counselor and I went over it, she said that music actually changes the chemicals and pathways in our brains. It has a very real and strong power. And when I turn to this uplifting, joyful, energetic music (even the sad songs, somehow) I cannot help but be drawn in. Music has always been a big part of my life, both the listening and creating of it. Especially through high school and college, as a melancholy singer/songwriter, I would poor my depression into my songs. The songs I've written have been both therapy and a record of my journey. But I do not think I have ever used music in such a happy way as I have with Glee.
The show has given me something else, and that is a character who has OCD. Emma Pillsbury is beautiful and kind. She is wise and wonderful. She is quirky as all get out. And she has OCD. She always has hand sanitizer on her desk and is often seen using it. One time, a student throws up on her and she later tells another character that she went to the hospital and had them give her 4 decontamination showers. She has trouble with life's "messes." But she is also someone who believes in growth and moving forward. She daily helps students as the guidance counselor and as we start this second season, she is seeking therapy herself. She has a new boyfriend as well and recently she said that they bought both red and green grapes, mixed them together and just ate them. She's trying to gain her own freedom and find her way out of her chains. I haven't seen very many OCD characters on TV and to have one that is so open and so positive is very powerful and inspirational for me. One of the great messages of Glee is the story of the underdog and how we all can connect to that. She especially has made me feel that I am not alone with this particular brand of my differentness.
And so, I thought I'd give a little shout out to Glee today. I recently wrote an article about my OCD journey for a contest and after I submitted it, I felt bad for not mentioning Glee along with some of the stories that helped me along my way, so I'm making up for it here. When the first episode aired this season, my husband looked over at me and just started laughing. I asked him what was going on and he said I knew I'd look over and see that silly grin on your face and there it is. I don't know that there's another show that brings me this kind of happiness, this Glee. So thank you!
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